The 20(ish) Week Ultrasound...

So today is my 20(ish) week ultrasound. Between the two guess dates (dating ultrasound Jan 3rd, my guess Jan 8th) I am either 20 weeks 2 days or 19 weeks 5 days. But who is keeping track right?

The other issue is I know that the tech may get to the all important question (well after making sure baby is healthy) do we want to find out the gender? Now it is never 100% sure (liability, girls are easier to be wrong blah, blah, blah) which is my main sticking point. I don't care about gender cause I can see the ups of both.

It would also be nice to plan what extra stuff we need and only have to "discuss" over one set of names...but what if they are wrong? You prepare for one gender then it turns out all the gender specific stuff you did was a waste. Or was it? I already have a DD. So most of the stuff I have already is pink, the desire to buy all the cute outfits is more "tamed" down. So I guess if it turned out to be a boy instead of a girl I wouldn't have all the stuff. While if it was a girl when it was suppose to be a boy I would have extra of some stuff. Or I could just buy gender neutral things for all the newborn clothes no matter what the gender. That way I can use them again no matter what the next baby is. Oh there are so many reasons to find out and just as many not to. Like the motivation in labour not knowing what your little bean is, it really does help especially while pushing. Sigh...

Too bad I only have a couple hours to decided...WWYD?

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19 weeks (or 19 weeks 5 days) - pregnancy update

I posted before about my pregnancy "issues" (see here). By "issues" I really mean all day nausea. Now that I am almost half way there depending on which date I go by. My date is closer to 19 weeks while my ultrasound date says I should be closer to 19 weeks 5 days. This makes my due date some where between January 3rd-8th. But like most mom's will remind any pregnant woman this is just a guess date and not set in stone. So I digress...

So back to the nausea....I was very keen at the time of posting that I was determined to find a way to a way to "cure" my nausea. Well I can't say that I am nausea free but it has lessened some what. I no longer find that it is an all day thing (well not as intense as before) and there is just a lingering of nausea with occasional waves of more extreme nauseation. I have tried a couple things (along with my Diclectin which I am happy to say I am down to taking twice a day!).

My first attempt was the pregnancy nausea candies. Now these do taste good, but suspiciously like jolly rangers (which to this date I am not able to find anywhere! the jolly rangers that is...all I have found is lonely cherry flavoured ones stuck in the corner of a convenience store). I found that they were good to take the edge off my nausea (like when one of my more extreme waves of nausea sweeps over) but did not really cure that nagging nausea that I am tired of. So for me they were not the answer.

My second attempt was trying out a hazelwood necklace. Now I wanted something that was functional but also looked nice. So after several hours of googling places that sell the necklaces (and seeing as I needed within a week or so I decided to stick to within Canada) I found it at Hazelaid. So I have been wearing it for about a week or so and it has been over this past week that I have seen a decrease in my nausea symptoms. I don't know if this is just coincidence, a mind over matter thing, or maybe my nausea is going away! Either way I am happy that my nausea has lessened! 

So yes I can now tolerate the nausea much better then before. But I am writing this in an un-nauseated state. So the nausea is in the distant past and it seems that my memory blocks out how intense those nausea waves can be. Which means I am still in the search for a anti-nausea cure. If anyone has any suggestions please leave a comment I would love to hear what others have done to "cure" their nausea!

- Cecette

Dilemma Of The Age Gap...

I mentioned in a previous post about how to decide how many kids is right (well what questions my husband and I have to answer to help us decide). I mentioned in that post that one of the biggest struggles was deciding what is the perfect age gap.

For me this will be the deciding factor on how many children we have (and also max age I want to be...but that can always be stretched). Now I use to think the best gap was two years...that is what is between me and my sister and that is what most people I know say is there "perfect" age gap. But is two years really the perfect age gap? Or has that just become the norm? Is the age gap getting larger over the years? I know a couple people who want large age gaps (to me that is over 5 years) or others that is just the way it worked out for their family. But if you had to choose and had total control (which is very unlikely but lets just go with it :D) over the age gap between your kids what would it be???

I found this article at THE TIMES it points to a three year age gap but states that what ever the age gap you have to make sure that you prepare the older child for a sibling. Also to make sure that you make each child feel special in their own way. But if you go here (to the writer's blog) you can see Sarah Ebner's full article including the missing case study.

Another one BabyCentre talks about the increase of premature birth rates are higher if become pregnant before 6 months and above 5 years. Also points out that with a smaller gap the expenses are closer together but you get the baby part over quicker. While with a larger gap expenses are over a larger time frame and you may feel like you can focus on each child more.

Below is my personal thoughts on choosing an age gap.

Diapers!

I personally wouldn't mind having two in diapers...I use cloth diapers so for me this would not be a major cost. I currently have all the newborn diapers that I would last through at least 2 if not 3 more children.

Potty training.

I really want to have a baby either before my older is being potty trained or has been potty trained for awhile. I have heard several hundred times of moms who said that they were some what potty trained and then regressed when baby came along. I think this is harder to pin point as every child potty trains at their own time.

Never get out of baby mode.

This can be a positive or a negative. One way you won't feel like you are starting all over again like you might if you wait 4+ years. On the other hand it feels like you always have a baby tied to your hip...you may feel like you don't get to enjoy the older child and their growing independence.

On maternity leave with your friends.

This seems like a very trivial way to base the age gap on but it can/could be important to some. So you want a friend to be off at the same time or go through pregnancy together. My sister-in-law was pregnant the same time as me and it was very fun! Especially if you are due as close as we were (my daughter born three days after my niece). We got to complain about morning sickness and heartburn together. It felt like you had someone who truly understood what you were going through...because they were!

University...

Having children closer means that you pay a larger amount at one time (or closer together). If they are farther apart there is breathing room to add to the savings. But this also means that you will be paying for University of a larger span which can be hard if you want to save up for retirement. With a smaller gap you can start on retirement savings sooner.

But I guess when it comes down to it as long as we give the same attention (as possible) to each child I think any age gap can work out. There are positives and negatives to any age gap. Also I think a small age gap is just as likely to give you close children as a larger age gap. Though I still think I would love a two year age gap...that is if everything goes as planned. :D

Lots of Bunny-Hugs!

Cecette

p.s. if you google "perfect age between kids" there are a lot of blogs, articles, and forums that bring up this topic.

Off To Work We Go...playing catch-up

Well not yet...but my maternity leave ends at the start of January 2011. This means I have to get ready and dust off my books to get reacquainted with nursing ones again. It will be 14 months since I have stepped inside a hospital or nursing home as an RN...which is a little overwhelming.

If everything works out I will be starting back in a .70 position...meaning I would be working 21 8 hour shifts every 6 weeks. This is more garunteed work then in my other position which is nice because I won't need to rely on picking up more shifts to make it to full time. This also means that Hannah will have a better routine and have less surprise trips to the daycare.

So how do I prepare to going back to work??

There is little to no information on returning to work as an RN from maternity leave. Which is odd because around 93% of RNs are female and in Saskatchewan you can take up to 18 months without losing seniority. So it is just natural that maybe your skills won't be as sharp as they were before the maternity leave started.

So what can I do so that I won't feel like a fish out of water? and how do I accomplish this while looking after a child???

Well, I think that the first question is going to be easier then the later. I still have my study book from when I was studying for my CRNE so that is a nice jumping point. Also I have a few other nursing pocket books that I think will be a big help, especially when it comes to pharmacology. For me this was the weakest point for my nursing career. I just was not very good at memorizing all the names. So I guess I will dig out my pharmacology book too.

So I know what books I should look at but what should I focus on??? It took four years to get through the RN program and that is a lot of information to get through.

Now when can I accomplish this "studying"? Well, I could do it while Hannah is having her nap...but I do like to save that for me time. Like checking my email, scanning facebook, and thinking up new blog posts (which I have several in the works...I just don't get around to posting them too often). But maybe I will have to give up some time in there if I want to feel safe and prepared when I go back to work. There is also the time after Hannah goes to bed.

So I have a plan...but will I go through with it??? Hopefully.

Lots of Bunny-Hugs

Cecette

p.s. if anyone has any tips on ways to organize a ton of information please let me know :D

How Many Is Just Right...

My little girl turns 8 months here in August and it is amazing how she has grown. She now can almost crawl (a commando style where she pulls her self along with her arms), can get to her hands and feet (with her bum in the air) and is developing a personality of her own. It is fun to see how she reacts to new things and is just starting to get into everything. It is amazing how she knows what I don't want her to play with as she seems to be attracted to those things.

However, with her turning 8 months my thoughts do turn to having a second child. At this time we haven't really set a limit on the number of children we want. It originally started out as 3 kids (as both my husband and I have two siblings) but for me the number changes every day. I do know that I would like to provide a sibling for Hannah so I know the number we want is more than one. I do like how compact that two children are (not the children themselves but the amount of stuff that you have to bring) compared to 3, 4, 5 or more. However, I see moms in the store with 4 little children toddling after them, it looks so cute. I know that in reality more kids are stressful and can be a money strain but I do think that there are some positives to a larger family.

So how do you know when you have hit the perfect number of children????

After a lot of thinking and searching the net for help I have narrowed down to a few questions that might help us decide....

What is the maximum age you want to be when your last child is born?
The chances of complication rises with age, as well as a decrease in fertility. Also do you want to be in your mid to late thirties and still be getting up with a newborn?
I am 24 right now so I think I have a little more leeway with the age issue. However, I would like to still be less then 35 when I am having my last child. Now, I don't want to say that people shouldn't or can't have children over the age 35 (my husband will be 38 at that point). For me and my husband it would be ideal if our children were at least in there 20's before I turn 55. That way we would have time to save for our retirement plus have a few years were we don't have children in University to support.
So for me it works out to being about a 10 year span that I would want my children in.

What age gap is right for you?

If you want 5 years between each, you want to be finished having kids at the age of 35 and you are having your first at 23. Then you really can only have two children...unless you alter one of the parameters...such as different age gap or your maximum age (cause if you already have a child you can't really alter your current age :D)
This one I really still struggle with...so I will go into this in the next post (I have been doing lots of fact finding on what people are saying about the perfect age gap).

How many children can the place you live accommodate?
If you are not willing to move then your have to think about the living arrangement that you can accommodate. Would you have every child have their own room or would you want to double up in a room? I grew up in the same room as my sister and didn't get my own until she went to University (I was then in grade eleven). Eventually my hubby and I will be taking over the family farm where the homestead house has 4 bedrooms (other then the master room) plus there is room in the basement for at least two more bedrooms. So this really does not limit us.

Can you/are you willing to get a bigger vehicle if needed?

We have a VW GTI and a Chevy extended cab truck. We could squeeze three kids into the car but anymore and we would need a larger vehicle. My ideal situation would be to get a large SUV and keep my car for work travel. I don't really see this happening but I could always dream.

Can you afford childcare if both parents have to work?or is one willing to stay home?
I just signed my DD up for childcare to start in January of 2011. For an infant full-time is $500/month and a toddler is $450/month. Now I am not sure if there is a discount for the number of children you have in at once but it can get pretty expensive. I work as an RN and will be going back to work to help support the family when my husband starts to farm. My hubby would be able to parent on weekends, evenings, and nights but he has lots of farm work to accomplish. Plus, after the move there will be lots on his plate to figure out. So it is just easier for us if we can get our daughter into daycare.

I have also read online that with more kids eventually you do have someone who could look after the other kids. Now this also depends on your oldest child's temperament. Are they capable of looking after the other kids (and will the other kids co-operate with having a sibling babysit?)

I believe that the amount of children you have should be based on how many you can emotionally, physically and financially support.

The best piece of advice that I came across was on the website Family Education. At the end of the article about planning for more children it talks about being flexible. That the best idea is to have a "settle-in period after the birth of each child" and then you can "readdress the issue if more children". This is important because it "prevents you from finding yourself overloaded based on a random number you may have pulled out of your head long before your wedding night."

I think that is a pretty good idea.

or I could just take an online quiz and have it decide for me...lol...if you were wondering I did take several, and they usually said 3 or more....hmmmm didn't really help lol

Lots Of Bunny-Hugs

Cecette

What would you do??!!

This past weekend my daughter and I had a girl's weekend at a spa located about 3 hours from our home. We had a wonderful time with my mother in law, her mom, her sister, and my sister in law. The water (which is a mineral spa) was wonderful and I even experienced my first ever "real" sauna (and no I did not take my daughter in the sauna...she stayed out with her grandma). It was interesting and it almost took my breath away...very hard to breath in there at first. I must be a wimp cause all I could stand was at the most 5 minutes.

I also think that I have a little fish for a daughter cause she LOVES the water! She even giggles with excitement after being dunked underwater. So in all it was a very good weekend.

The issue was just before going home. It was just me and Hannah together at this point and I really really need to use the bathroom. Seeing as I was already at a gas station to fuel up I could use theirs how convenient! Well I was wrong....warning the following is about an experience with a small child in a very inconvenient public bathroom.

First of all it was 30 degrees Celsius out so even if I was a mother who would leave their child in the car while I went inside (which I am not) I would/could not that day. So into the store my baby went with me. I located the bathroom (only one for both male and female). To my shock when I got inside there was no change table (I should have realized that there wouldn't be one it seemed quite small from the outside). Inside there was one toilet, one pedestal sink (meaning that the edge was maybe 2 inches wide), a garbage can built into the wall, a paper dispenser built into the wall, and a very very dirty floor. Oh and did I mention that I really needed to pee??

This was the first time I experienced this dilemma. Usually I am with someone who can hold my daughter while I am in the bathroom or there is some sort of change table area. OH WHAT TO DO!???

So there I was trying to hold my baby (as far away from the toilet as possible..cause the floor was too dirty for words...no way I would put her on that. Plus she is at that stage where everything goes into her mouth) and pee at the same time! It was quite difficult...but I managed. Then I propped her on the side of the sink (she can sit a little which is nice) leaning against me while I washed my hands (I was prepared before hand and I wiped down the sink the ledge before hand so not to get anything on her bum). It was quite successful with what I had to work with...but I still wish the place had something that I could have put her on.

So what would you have done???

Lots of Bunny Hugs!

~Cecette